How come so many people want to shoot me? Am I not the most lovable guy known to those who have met me?
I was warned that in the data collection phase, there had been some incidents in Newbury that warranted sending in a new face. For about two months I traversed that township doing the review, visiting every home (almost like Santa Claus, but no presents, and I stayed far from the chimneys). Everyone I met was either friendly or neutral, with the exception of one fellow last week who firmly insisted that I had to leave his property (he was having a war with Zoning, and anything that looked like Official Business was unwelcome). That I could live with -- the aerial photos are good enough that you do NOT want to be sunbathing when the plane flies over!
Yesterday I finished Newbury. Today I started in on the south side of Bainbridge. Things were going smoothly. I pulled into one driveway on Pettibone Road, where the sign on the garage said, "If you can read this, you are in range." I've seen plenty of those. Most of the people who post that sign are friendly as long as you knock on the door. I had a pleasant chat with the lady who answered the door -- I had to get out because her house had a deck on the back that was not on the tax card sketch -- and then drove to the next driveway.
It was one of those houses like any other house. Piece of cake. There were, however, some strange signs posted on the house. Nothing threatening, but sort of nutty. I didn't need to leave the car. I jotted a few notes on the tax card, turned around, and drove to the next house.
I was about a half mile away, maybe a half hour later, when my phone rang. It was Nedra, at the office, abrupt and hurried, "When you get to such-and-such address on Pettibone Road, do not pull into the driveway."
"I've already been there."
She sounded worried. "Don't go back, not even to turn around or do any paperwork."
"I don't plan to go back. I don't need to go back."
"The owner called and said you were trespassing on his property. He said that if you pulled into his driveway again, he would shoot you."
"I didn't even see him. All I did was pull into the driveway, take some notes, turn around, and leave." (My practice is to get out and introduce myself if anyone appears at a window or door).
"Well, don't go back. He obviously saw the signs on the car, because he knew where to call."
An hour or so later I decided to drive to McDonalds for a cup of coffee. As I passed his house, the man was at the mailbox getting his mail. He gave me a strange look as I went by. Must have left his gun at the house.
Somehow guys like that worry me a little. The fellow in Parkman who tried to chase me off his neighbor's property, threatened to call the Sheriff, and told the Sheriff's dispatcher that he should have shot me, did not seem like a real threat. He was loud and visible, and obviously his threat was in the past tense -- "I should have…". Same thing for the old farmer in Huntsburg; it came out in the course of conversation, and I took it as a joke. Somebody who would hide inside a house threatening future action is a different flavor fruitcake.
I just hope nobody else with a black car pulls into his driveway to turn around.
Maybe I need a light bar to make the car more distinct. Low profile amber lights. That would be fun. As it is, people hit their brakes when they see me sitting in a driveway.
Come to think of it, some of the Sheriff's cruisers, like the one that pulled up behind me yesterday as I sat on the roadside shuffling paper (flashers ON!) and turned on his lights before he saw the side of the car, are small and look similar to my car -- but we do have different color signage (they have gold, I have red, white, and blue) on the sides. (Bainbridge police cruisers are bigger and have white signage).
And I think that Mr. Hospitality can expect a visit from one of those black cars sometime soon. if he hasn't had one already.***FOOTNOTE***
I wrote this last Friday, and delayed publishing it because I was uncertain what follow-up actions had been taken. I've been told a police report was filed, so its a public record now. I've also been told that the incident report shows the irate caller had a limited vocabulary but no speech impediment with respect to the "ph" sound. Anyway, the pen is mightier than the sword, and I carry a 0.7 mm semi-automatic pencil …
Look Out for Morty!
11 years ago