WhatIfI?

So yesterday I slipped the clutch on my mind and let it free-wheel, and with Demogogic Party politics in the news, I began to fantasize. What if someone were to illegally run for Congress? Well, why not. They could be an Official Illegal Congressman. To get there would require violating election law and getting elected anyway.

The political parties have a lock on the US electoral system, except at the grassroots level. If a person wants to run for President, and is not the annointed cherub of his party, he is out of luck. You just ain't gonna make it as a write-in. It takes money, and money has to be accounted for to the Elections Police. Same thing for the office of Senator or Congressor. (I just made that one up, but you have to admit, it makes sense in a gender-neutral world, and follows general grammatical structure.) Now that Obama has finished (or nearly so) his jihad against Hilary and is ready to take the battle to Gentleman Johnny, it may not be politic to mention McCain-Feingold, but that law and other FEC regulations make a home-brewed, roll-your-own candidacy very difficult.

Nevertheless, I Have A Dream. A real nightstallion. So this guy runs for Congress in the 13th Ohio District as a write-in. In order for the votes to count (if he actually got any) he would have to file as a write-in candidate with the Boards of Elections in Summit, Medina, and Lorain Counties. That must be done by September 3 of this year. What if, until that time, he were not officially running for anything? What if an Internet campaign were waged, with no political committee -- just a bunch of wild mushrooms posting "Vote for The Illegal One" posts everywhere? Sig files that said, "Vote for The Illegal One". Handmade posters tacked up all over the district, unorganized (heh, heh) and officially unrecognized, saying "Vote for The Illegal One". "I'm The Illegal One, and I didn't approve of this message, but I'm not going to stop anyone from saying what they think".

Yes, I know the name of The Illegal One would have to be inserted in that space to be effective, but what if, come election day 2008, The Illegal One took the seat as a write-in candidate? Would that not tie some shorts and panties in knots in Washington?

And what could be done about a person who said repeatedly, "If you elect me to Congress, this is what I will not do", if he were not an official candidate until September 3? Could he be arrested or fined for campaigning illegally, if he were not officially a candidate? And what if he did not have any election expenses (think grassroots, unorganized, etc.) to report? Could he be jailed for violating campaign finance reform laws due to the fact that he did not have any campaign finances?

I generally eat oatmeal in the morning. Just think what the nightstallions would be like if I had oatmeal nightcaps.

And no, I have never smoked marijuana, even if I was exposed to marijuana smoke from students in the restroom next to my classroom. (And you wondered where some of your teachers got those silly grins -- it was an occupational hazard.)

Now here's a thought. Maybe its the apples. Do nightstallions like apples?

Oh, and before I'm done, a plug. Visit NorthernLightsWool.com sometime. But not too soon, because we haven't put a page there yet.