See No Weevil

This post is for Samantha.

Have you ever had a meal-time surprise? What if you had unexpected visitors in your food? Ah, yes, visitors IN your food.

One day not long ago Grandma went to add some spice to her chili. She thought it was cayenne pepper. At least, the label said it was cayenne pepper. However, as she went to open the cap and shake some into her chili, she spotted something that did not seem quite right. Little wiggly things.

Now, you might rightly say that containers of food that have gone past the “Best by” date can be expected to have some surprises. However, this container has been tightly capped. Does the presence of weevils in cayenne pepper powder, in a sealed container, prove that spontaneous generation is a viable theory?

Besides, who woulda thunk that weevils like cayenne powder? Have they no taste buds? How did they get in the bottle in the first place? Do they need air, or is the bottle really not that well sealed? The bottle says these weevils are certified organic, but there is nothing on the label to indicate their country of origin. Could they be ilweevil immigrants? They were packaged in August 2016, while Obama was President; were they smuggled into the US by a cayenne cartel, or are they actually domestic weevils?

This is worthy of a Congressional investigation. At least we know from this that “Best by” dates can be safely ignored; these weevils are more than 2 years overdue and they have not expired.